This is how to plan a wedding when you already have children
Lizzy Abegg, the woman behind Byron Bay-based brand Spell & the Gypsy Collective, knows all about planning a wedding with kids. For her bohemian wedding in Byron back in October of 2015, her children were just one and three, which meant she was not only pulling together her nuptials with two small children around but also hoping to include them in the big day. “My children were quite young, so although their involvement in the ceremony was pretty minimal, we still kept them in mind while planning,” she shared. “It was very special having the children there, it felt like a celebration of our whole family. Our wedding day was honestly one of the best days of our lives and I would have hated to have missed that time with our loved ones.”
Here, Abegg, who is already planning her 10 year vow renewal with her husband, shared how she did it.
“I wanted the ceremony to feel warm and inclusive so we all sat in a circle, this helped the kids to feel they were in an intimate space. We wanted to be able to be really present with the kids throughout the afternoon so made a point of requesting guests not to bring their own children (except babes in arms of course). We did want a few special children there who were a bit older and we had a small play tent for them, and a movie night with popcorn inside the house. We also had a pool at the venue so my mum took the kids swimming after the ceremony which the kids just loved, this wasn’t planned but it worked out perfectly. That’s another thing I guess with kids, you often can’t plan for them so it’s good to stay flexible.”
“I guess there are four main parts to the day to consider when it comes to the kids and how they’re involved (or not involved); the getting ready part (for me this was a special time between my bridesmaids and I so the kids were off with family), the ceremony, the reception and home time (where the kids sleep that night). I think if you make sure those elements have been considered then you can approach the rest of the wedding plan like you normally would. The ceremony is a special opportunity to include the children, it’s usually quiet and gentle and a perfect time to allow them to step into the space you create. We had our three-year-old son bring the rings to us, he ran them to us so proudly!”
“Because my children were young, we decided to send them home with a babysitter just before dinner. It was hard to be away from my one-year-old daughter for the night, but it was worth it to be really present during the evening. Everything else went so smoothly, we had a nanny at the wedding who played with the children who were there, so it kept all the kids entertained and allowed the parents to enjoy themselves. We had bubbles and toys and little bags of popcorn for the movie night. And of course kids food like homemade sausage rolls which kept them fed and everyone was happy!”
“I think watching the kids jump in the pool with my mum mid-afternoon was really lovely, it felt fun and free and they dripped water everywhere – it was one of the memories my son still has of the day.”
“I think having a dedicated person there on the day, who can set up a ‘kids zone’ is a great idea. [Organise] some craft and toys and someone who can attend to the kids, offering drinks and food, so the parents can relax. Because our children were so young we kept it pretty simple, but I do love what I’ve seen friends do, like invite the children to write poems, or exchange crystals during the ceremony. I was lucky to have a wedding planner (The Events Lounge) and it was invaluable. She thought of all the little touches.
“I would have made the night go longer! I thought I’d be exhausted and happy for everyone to leave early, but of course the night flies by and it ended too soon! But no other changes, it was perfect!”