RAW Report 6/6/11 Richmond, Virginia – Because Stone Cold Said So!

This might be some overlapping, but I’m starting when VKM comes out to the ring. He wants a huge, Austin asks about a stunner instead? They don’t need to be hugging on national TV. Vince introduces himself then asks Luke and Andy why they deserve to be in this ring where HBK performed? Which Andre dominated? Slaughter kicked ass and take names? The man who beat the holy hell out of everyone who got in his way?

Andy says he gauran-damn-tees…

VKM takes the mic from Andy’s face and asks if he said guaran-damn-tee? Austin agreed that Andy said that. VKM turns to Luke with the same question.

Luke says that love him or hate him, we’ll never forget him. He wants to create moments, bring it on. Heat for Luke.

VKM asks what redeeming qualities do they have that will captivate a global WWE audience?

Andy says he’s the baddest in the competition and best athlete to boot. VKM asks if he’s nervous? (Sounds it!) Andy replies with no sir because I know I’ve already won!

VKM says he was just told they’re live on the air on Monday night RAW! He didn’t ask Luke. But he had made up his mind before he went out there. Who will go home and who will have a WWE contract. VKM sees Austin looking at him. Austin doesn’t like that VKM says he’s going to pick. VKM says that this is the WWE and he makes all the important decisions around here.

Austin says he doesn’t give a rat’s ass if he’s the chairman of the board, you own this sumbitch, you wear that stupid tie, bullshit _BLEEP_ suit. Doesn’t make a damn difference to him son, but Tough Enough is his show and he’ll make the damn decision, not him! Did he make himself clear? VKM said to go ahead!

Austin looks them both up and down. “Andy” chants are apparent.

VKM says if he was doing it, he’d have a drum roll. Austin calls VKM a dumb sumbitch, but a drum roll’s a good idea. Austin calls for the drum roll. Spotlight on the ring. Austin still looks them over, then steps back, drum roll still going. Austin stares at them. Andy starts yelling at Austin and the fans. He’s hot!

And the winner of Tough Enough, because he says so – BIG Andy!

Austin shakes hands with Luke. Luke shakes with VKM, then Andy. Austin takes Luke’s belt, but then tells Luke he did a good job as he leaves the ring.

Austin turns to VKM and asks if he’d like to give his newest employee some words of congratulations or welcome him aboard the WWE ship. VKM says he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have picked the other guy, but welcome to the WWE. A huge bitch slap to Andy who really sold it well by hitting the mat and holding his face.

Austin yells at VKM off mic. Andy to his feet. Austin shakes Andy’s hand, but doesn’t let go. Andy eats a stunner. Andy takes it beautifully. Austin drops the belt on Andy and welcomes Andy to the WWE, you son of a bitch. Congratulations! And that’s the bottom line ’cause Stone Cold said so. VKM’s all smiles. Andy rolls out to the floor as Austin’s music plays. Austin reaches out and shakes Andy’s hand again.

The beer starts flying into the ring. VKM can’t catch a beer and yells at the thrower, even though it was a great throw.

Still celebrating when, “The truth will set you free!” Out comes R-Truth in a faux Confederate uniform to ‘When Johnny Comes Marching Home’, but changes the name to Jimmy and yelling about conspiracy. Cole could only laugh, not talk at all. R-Truth into the ring and both VKM and Austin are confused.

R-Truth says he was told by the RAW GM he had to apologize and so – VKM says they should see why he has to apologize. Video of the flying soda from last week. The fans are hot at R-Truth and he’s tweaking. He thanks VKM for showing everyone.

R-Truth says he’s sorry, he’s a good R-Truth. He’s sorry to Big Jimmy, he’s sorry to Little Jimmy. He’s sorry to the soda he wasted it on. It was refreshing. ‘What?’ I’m sorry! ‘What?’ I’m sorry! ‘What?’ I’m sorry! ‘What?’

Austin says he ought to be sorry about dressing up like a damn jackass!

R-Truth says he’s dressed like this. He did his homework. He knows where he’s at, Richmond, Virginia. The capital of the Confederacy. Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee and a bunch of other inbred rednecks, just like the crowd. Boos from the fans and R-Truth not to boo him, they should to be booin’ themselves. Just when the formed the Confederate States of America.

“You suck!” chants grow louder and louder. Austin says that was 150 years ago, what’s it have to do with today?

R-Truth says that while he’s aware nothing good ever, EVER came out of the south, the Confederacy had one good idea, secession. The Confederacy seceded from the United States. Tonight R-Truth secedes from the WWE Universe! Don’t get it twisted. He keeps the Title Match, but he don’t want anything else. They won’t have R-Truth to push around no mo’. What that means is they don’t make no more money off from him. No action figures, no shirts, no video games! Nothing! Diddley-squat! He’s been a victim of a company wide conspiracy. Aint that right Mr. McMahon.

VKM says, “Let me tell you something R. R is your real name, isn’t it?” R-Truth agrees. VKM thought it was a silly first name. How does he spell ‘R’? Is it RRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrr? Maybe he should have been a pirate instead of a rapper. He suggests if R-Truth go to his office between the hours of 9am and midnight, 7 days a week. If he wants to discuss this. VKM turns and says to Austin, “Steve, you know my office hours.” Austin’s been there. Austin asked what the point was. VKM says if R-Truth wants answers he doesn’t have to get them from VKM, he can get them from someone else. Conspiracy, huh?

C-o-n- VKM tells him to try secession. Miz cuts them off.

Miz out in a eggplant suit, the pants and lapels slightly darker than the rest of the jacket, or black. “Really? Really? Really? Really? Really?” He asks all the way down the ramp. R-Truth has the chairman of the company out there and he’s talking conspiracy. He deal with reality. If it wasn’t for his idiotic and inept protégé Alex Riley, he would still be WWE Champion. The past two weeks of cheap shots from that nobody doesn’t take away that he’s the most must-see Champion in WWE history. He knows and the fans know that he deserves one last Championship match.

Alex Riley’s music hits and he comes out. Miz backs up in the ring a bit. Riley out to the ring. R-Truth and Miz are yelling around VKM.

Riley says the only thing Miz deserves is another week of beat downs! Fans love this. Miz is all cocky standing behind VKM. Off mic Riley tells Miz he wants to be a big man, be a big man right here. Next to VKM R-Truth is still completely in character waving his cutlass around, but much of the time holding the blade rather than the hilt!

Cena’s music hits next and the fans are wild, but not as wild as they were for Stone Cold Steve Austin! Cena tells them to hold on, wait! Heat for Cena now. He says a lot has happened, so he’ll recap and bring us all up to speed. VKM is out of patience. (R-Truth is scratching his neck with the ‘dull’ side of the blade in his hand.) Miz is out of excuses. A-Ri is out for vengeance. Steve Austin is almost out of beer. R-Truth is out of his mind.

Miz, not only did he lose, Cena made him say, ‘I quit!’ Repeatedly. He’s no GM, but he won’t get a rematch for the WWE Championship. Stop being a jack wagon and get over himself. Alex Riley, Cena doesn’t like him, trust him, but the past two weeks he’s manned up, proved he’s got a set while hitting that piece of human garbage in the face repeatedly. For that Cena commends him.

That leaves Cena with R-Truth. Where does he start? Where’d R-Truth get the – No, don’t answer that. When Cena looks at R-Truth, drinks all that in he see the brightest bulb in the Christmas tree. He has it all together. There’s no possible way that a guy acting like that has any mental issue at all. Sharp as a tack he is. R-Truth makes funny faces. Cena tells him to take the ridiculous outfit off. He apologized and has his match at CP in DC. One on one for the WWE Championship with Cena.

Ding-Ding!

Cena yells, “Kentucky long rifle, what is that, an email?”

Cole asks for their attention.

VKM bellows, “Michael Cole, SHUT UP!”

Cole sits back down looking like a kicked puppy. VKM says he has this one. Since this is a special Monday night RAW and they’re in Richmond, Virginia. For tonight’s main event it will be R-Truth and his tag team partner the Miz against Riley and Cena. VKM is about to leave the ring, but stops and says the Special Guest Ref is Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin stops drinking his beer and tries to get to VKM, but he can’t get to him as he casually ducks behind the other wrestlers in the ring, then out.

Cole starts talking and King tells him that VKM told him to shut up. Austin leave the ring, but talks to Cena on the apron briefly before leaving.

– Commercial!

Santino w/ Kozlov vs. Michael McGillicutty

McGillicutty yells smack at Santino. Yells to the fans he’s a Champion. Santino raises a hand and yells and the fans scream for him! McGillicutty tries to attack, but Santino is ready, coming back with blows. McGillicutty bounced off a couple corners face first, then whipped into a third. Atomic drop on McGillicutty, then Santino clotheslines him from the ring. Santino celebrates, trumpeting and shaking ropes. McGillicutty back in but eats some more blows, briefly.

McGillicutty on Santino with blows. Santino backed into a corner. Santino whipped, but floats over and goes at McGillicutty with the cobra. McGillicutty to the mat in fear. Santino on McGillicutty with those solid arm drags, but his drop kick was swatted away. McGillicutty with a drop kick of his own on Santino for two. Otunga with a pep talk as Santino eats a corner, then a blow and a kick. McGillicutty pins Santino again for two. Santino with a two. Big clothesline on Santino for two. Chinlock on Santino on the mat. Kozlov gets the fans behind Santino.

Santino to his feet and throws McGillicutty off. “Cobra” chants fill the arena! McGillicutty rushes Santino, but Santino moves and McGillicutty eats corner. Blows to McGillicutty, then a hip toss off Santino’s split. Saluting falling head butt to McGillicutty, then Santino tries to raise the roof. Otunga pulls McGillicutty from the ring, but Kozlov plows through Otunga! McGillicutty on the apron and then hangs Santino up top. McGillicutty in and tries for something, but Santino moves and McGillicutty lands on the mat. Santino sets up for the cobra and hits it perfect for three.

Winner – Santino

Kozlov in and smiles, then celebrates with Santino. Posing on corners together.

Video of Andy winning Tough Enough earlier!

King and Cole talk about VKM being in the ring and cutting off the RAW GM. Cole worries about the Special Guest Ref later on, they have a history.

Kelly out in silver, Beth with her in black with flames.

– Commercial

WWE Slam Of The Week – Kharma announcing that she is with child and will be out for a year. The Bellas came out and got nasty to her, but she scared them well and set up for a feud when she returns.

Kelly Kelly & Beth Phoenix vs. Nikki & Brie Bella

Cole says that Kelly is on the right and Beth on the left (who doesn’t know which is which?). Bellas out to the ring in electric purple! They flip back into the ring.

Kelly and a Bella lock up. Arm bar on Kelly. Kelly climbs a corner, slingshots off the top rope from her bum, flips over and sends the Bella flying to the mat (looked rather nice). Head scissors and Kelly pins for two. Kelly hung up top, then a knee to her gut as the Bella holds her an tags her sis in. Cole talks about even JR not thinking Kharma was right. King told him to leave JR out of it, he probably didn’t mean what he said (anyone who reads JR’s Twitter knows how JR reacted to the outrage from Kharma’s fans). Cole says he probably didn’t, he’s just quoting the Bellas!

Kelly slammed back into the heel corner as a Bella works her over. Then the other back in and they slam her back. Choking Kelly in the ropes, tags the other twin in. Kelly pinned for two. The Bella wrenches Kelly’s arms back, but she’s able to fling the Bella and get free. Kelly on her knees reaching for Beth as the Bella makes a wild clothesline well above Kelly that looks preposterous!

Beth tags in with a big clothesline, a back elbow and then an inverted atomic drop! Beth somehow trips and lands on her bum, but bounces right back up to take the Bella down with a double axe handle. Beth slingshots the Bella off the top rope and slams her to the mat. Beth pins, but the sis breaks the count. Kelly rushes in and hit’s the non-legal twin with a running bulldog and they both roll out. The Bella is caught and knows it. Glamslam and Beth pins for three!

Winner – Kelly & Beth

Kelly and Beth celebrate in the ring while the Bellas regroup on the floor at the bottom of the mat.

– Commercial

Backstage Booker and Trish are talking. Andy won the whole thing. Booker says he has a secret move and wants Trish to have it. It’s a Trish-a-roonie. She’s down on one knee, then hand out, the shake, talking her up and they’re gut off by Swagger. He comments on the Tough Enough trainers, but in a very demeaning tone. He says if the All American American was the trainer, they’d all be winners, not just won. He doesn’t think Booker is Tough Enough. Why doesn’t he get in the ring with the All American American, if he still think he’s got it. Booker says to tell him he didn’t just say that. Booker then agreed. Booker tells Swagger that after the match he won’t be running around like a goofball doing no victory lap. He should ask himself on thing. Swagger asked what? “Can you dig that?” Quietly he added, “Sucker.” Booker then told Swagger to, “Back up off me dog.”

Punk and Ryan out to the stage. Punk sits down and Ryan hands the mic to him. He says for those keeping score at home, last week he defeated Rey Mysterio. Bringing the grand total times he’s defeated Rey to well over 600. Rey has never defeated Punk, so he did what Rey always does, he cries and moans and petitions for a rematch that Punk gladly granted here tonight. One more time and he’s going to beat Rey again. Not to satiate his ego, but to prove that the New Nexus is unyielding. They their collective faith is undying. He asks the fans to join him in dismantling Rey Mysterio.

– Commercial

WWE Rewind – Rey faced Punk, threw him over announce, set him up for 619, but had to deal with Ryan. Punk managed a spinning head kick on Rey for three.

CM Punk w/ Ryan vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk and Ryan hang out in the ring. Rey comes out in black and silver with his newest Rey shirt. He slaps hands, then touches heads with a young child and gives him his over mask. More fan hand slaps and head touches as Rey heads for the ring.

They lock up, Rey backed to the ropes and Punk tries for a cheap spinning head kick, but Rey ducked! They lock up. Side headlock on Rey. Rey reverses into a hammerlock on Punk. Punk reverses to a hammerlock on Rey. Side headlock takeover on Rey. Rey and Punk’s hands are twined, but Punk can’t keep Rey’s shoulders down. Rey kicks out, rolls back with his feet in Punk’s gut, lifting him off the mat. Then rolls back to Punk’s feet on the mat and Rey’s knees on Punk’s shoulders (gracefully), then Rey rolled down Punk’s back and pins him for two.

Shoulder block to Rey for one. Punk runs the ropes, Rey jumps and ducks, then uses his feet to send Punk flipping through the air in a monkey flip sort of way, but Punk barely rotates enough before hitting the mat. Punk slides from the ring to regroup. Rey runs and heads for a baseball slide, but Punk grabs his ankles, so Rey uses his weight to swing through the air and send Punk flying. Rey to his knees turns and watches Ryan closely.

Rey rolls Punk in, then comes over the top with a leg drop for two. Arm hold on Punk. Punk up and elbows out. Rey telegraphs and is kicked for it. A back kick to Rey’s gut, then a high knee. Rey’s whipped and tries to float over, but is caught on Punk’s shoulders. Rey holds the top rope tightly. Punk sends Rey over the top rope. Rey lands on the apron and shoulder blocks Punk in the gut. Rey up top, but Punk kicks Rey’s foot out form under him and Rey ends up hung upside-down. The ref tries to help Rey free, but Punk rushes him with a hip slam. Rey somehow manages to get free easily after he’s hit. Punk drags Rey in and pins for two.

Arm lock around Rey’s waist. Rey up and elbows free, but then into a back suplex by Punk. Punk with his legs scissored around Rey’s waist. Punk locks on his anaconda vice too, but Rey fights back through “619” chants. Punk slides Rey across the ring so his upper back/neck hits the ringpost. Punk pins for two. Rey up and elbows to Punk’s gut, but then Punk hangs Rey up top across his gut. Rey set up top, Punk climbs. Rey blocks the superplex and comes back with blows. Punk finally falls to the mat. Rey missiles off the top into Punk. Both men are down for 8! Back and forth then Rey slingshots off the middle for two with a cross body for two. Head scissors to Punk. Rey runs the ropes right into an a fast scoop slam (almost like Orton’s, but not as fast) for two.

Punk rolls down his knee pad and runs Rey in a corner, but Rey moves and goes after Punk. A drop kick to Punk’s back set him up for the 619, but it’s right where Ryan is standing. Ryan on the apron and Rey stops short. Punk up and after Rey with a kick, but Rey ducks and grabs Punk around the neck. Rey does his own version of a tilt-a-whirl type DDT where he hits a drop kick on Ryan on how way around. Rey up top and splashes Punk for three.

Winner – Rey

Rey flees the ring as Ryan rushes in. Punk pounds the mat in frustration. Video of the ending of the match. Punk is still pitching a fit on the mat.

Cole talks about R-Truth facing Cena at CP in two weeks in DC. They go back to that chopped together press conference, or so I thought! This time R-Truth is asking questions about him not getting a Title match due to conspiracy. R-Truth asks if maybe Obama should help Cena, but Obama doesn’t think he needs any help. R-Truth says that some think Obama should get a Title shot before R-Truth. Obama says it’s not about R-Truth going first or Obama going first, a matter of everybody having a serious conversation about getting in the boat, then getting in there together so it doesn’t tip over. R-Truth aint talking about any boat. Little Jimmy got a boat, R-Truth aint got no boat. He aint getting in a boat with Obama. He don’t even like boats and Obama prolly push him out the boat. Obama says, “That’s a fair assessment.” King has the giggles.

Backstage Riley and Cena are arguing about their match. Cena says he doesn’t trust Riley, but he’ll tag with Riley tonight, but if Riley hangs him out to dry – Cena stops off.

Promo for ‘The Very Best of WCW Nitro’ narrated by DDP!

– Commercial

Next week’s RAW will be All*Star Night. It will be a three hour RAW with members of both RAW and Smackdown’s rosters. Orton, Rey, Miz, Christian, R-Truth, Sheamus, Cena and more!

ADR comes out in a right hand drive 1960 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud 2! He tells us he’s Alberto Del Rio, but we already know that. There’s a word in America to describe what he’s been hearing. That word is slander. The WWE Universe has been saying Alberto Del Rio is a hit and run coward. It was an accident. If we don’t believe him, here’s for us, again. Video of the ‘accident’ with Big Show two weeks ago. ADR is in the ring and gets heat. He says it’s an accident. He wants Big Show to come out so ADR can apologize to him. He keeps calling Big Show. He gets it, Big Show is afraid of him. He won’t run him over with the car. It’s way back there, so come out.

Big Show’s music, but out comes a short and round fake Big Show eating, on crutches. He shoves the food down his singlet, then wobbles to the ring, a baseball glove on one hand. Ricardo – fake Big Show – struggles through the ropes as Cole laughs and King gets pissed. ADR says he’s glad Big Show shows up so he can apologize to him, it was an accident. Aren’t those crutches too much? Ricardo whines. ADR says this is Big Show way to no pay damage on the car. Whining and farting. ADR says Big Show wants to settle. More whining. ADR says if give Big Show a dozen of doughnuts, a lot of chocolate, a lot ice cream, a lot of candies, he’ll drop all the charges. More whining and the glove high. ADR doesn’t agree. He speaks in Spanish and then says that bad things happen to bad people. He’ll give advice. Big Show go home, lick his wounds and never disrespect him again. One more thing, Big Show, don’t make ADR his enemy because if he does, he’ll get hurt. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise because bad things happen to bad people. ADR ends it with his creepy smile. Off comes Ricardo’s scull cap and he repeats Alberto Del Rio over and over.

Cole sets up a video for Kofi Kingston, controlled frenzy. Nice little video montage set to music with announcer clips over it talking up Kofi.

– Commercial

Be A Star promo.

Zack Ryder w/ Dolph & Vickie vs. Kofi Kingston

In the ring is Dolph, Vickie (with a horrible black bow on her shoulder) and Ryder! Dolph and Vickie to announce leaving Long Island Iced Z in the ring. Video of Kofi and Dolph in the ring last week, Dolph defeated Kofi. Dolph talks up Ryder, biggest name in YouTube entertainment! Kofi bounces out to face. Dolph is at announce Tweeting!

They lock up. Side headlock on Ryder. Shoulder block to Kofi. Ryder runs the ropes into a back elbow. A drop kick to Ryder, then he gets pissy and yelling in Kofi’s face, pie faces Kofi only to get a forearm to the face, then his face to the mat. Ryder is whipped. Kofi runs for his splash. Ryder moves and Kofi looks like he’s going to land on the top ropes, but his feet miss and he lands hard, chest first, on the top buckle. Ryder takes Kofi down hard with a neck breaker. Ryder beats Kofi down in a corner. Then, as Dolph says, Ryder “kicks Kofi’s face off of his neck! Nothing but dreads, little goatee” Ryder pins for two. Chinlock on Kofi on the mat. Kofi whipped but moves and Ryder eats top buckle. Double hands to Ryder’s chest, then a drop kick. Kofi’s unique clothesline, then he hits a boom drop on Ryder. Ryder kicks Kofi off, but then eats trouble in paradise for three.

Winner – Kofi

Dolph is still cutting on Kofi who celebrates in the ring. King says you can’t Tweet yourself to victory. Video of the end of the match, then Dolph tells King that Twitters on computers now, in case he didn’t notice.

Backstage R-Truth and Miz plan. Miz mostly talks and explains, R-Truth nods.

Backstage Booker tapes and heads for the ring. His first match on RAW in four years.

– Commercial

King and Cole talk up Andy. During the commercial the RAW GM announced that Miz will face Riley at CP in two weeks.

Jack Swagger vs. Booker T

Swagger in the ring waiting for Booker. Video of Evan getting the upper hand and beating Swagger last week. Swagger pitched a fit. Booker out to the ring looking very focused. Cole wonders about ring rust, King says Booker showed on Tough Enough that he’s always ring ready.

Booker taunts Swagger, then gets a hammerlock on him. Booker slammed back, then Swagger on Booker with blows. Booker comes back with a back kick, then chops that Cole calls ‘vintage’! King gets a serious tone and tells Cole he’s talked way too much tonight, so just back off. Then giggles as he tells Cole that his breath is still worse than his bite. Booker misses a kick, then ends up clotheslined from the ring. Booker outside holds the barrier. Swagger out with shoulder to Booker’s gut. Booker sent back in, Swagger pins for two. Leg drops on Booker, then lock an arm lock on Booker. “Let’s go Booker!” chants. Booker up, but a knee to the gut. Booker backed into a corner, then whipped but elbows Swagger in the head. Spinning kick on Swagger. Chops to Swagger in a corner, both rights and lefts. A bitch slap to Swagger, then more chops. Knee to Swagger’s gut, but Swagger moves out of the way of the scissors kick, but eats a kick from a different direction. Swagger slides from the ring. He yells that he doesn’t need this. He watches as he’s counted out.

Winner – Booker T

Swagger acts like he doesn’t care about losing the match as he backs to the ramp. Evan attacks Swagger from behind and then rushes into the ring. Swagger in after Evan, but takes a kick to the gut, then Booker’s scissor kick! Booker points up and Evan climbs. Evan flies! Booker and Evan celebrate together. Booker and Evan both hit the spin-a-roonie! They continue to celebrate as Booker poses on corner for the fans. Video of Evan suckering Swagger into the ring. Booker and Evan and still having fun.

Backstage Stone Cold Steve Austin is heading for the ring.

– Commercial

Main Event Tag Team Match – John Cena & Alex Riley vs. Miz & R-Truth – Special Guest Ref – Stone Cold Steve Austin

Miz out to the ring staring at Austin. Austin stares back unimpressed. R-Truth out without music. Heat for R-Truth and he starts talking to himself. Video of the soda incident from last week’s RAW. R-Truth into the ring and looks a bit dazed and confused. Riley out to the ring staring holes in Miz. Video of Riley going after Cole until Miz attacked from behind, then Riley took Miz apart. Cena out to round out the match.

– Commercial

In the ring they’re getting organized. The bell rings, then Austin raises his hand to call for the bell. Cena and Miz lock up. Side headlock takeover on Miz. Cena reverses into an arm hold. Riley wanted in but Miz fled and tagged out. Riley and R-Truth reverse holds back and forth. R-Truth splits below a clothesline and then drops Riley with a hip toss for one. Side headlock takeover on Riley and R-Truth keeps the hold on. R-Truth with a shoulder block on Riley, but then runs into a hip toss and a clothesline that the fans love! Riley pins R-Truth for two.

Riley want to tag, Cena finally agrees. R-Truth flees to tag out. Miz in, even though he was fleeing from Cena a few weeks ago. Miz whipped, then into a bulldog. Cena runs over and tags in Riley, but Miz flees the ring, slapping R-Truth’s hand on the way by. Riley out after him, around the ring, then Miz in with Riley on his tail. Riley in and while Miz ducks R-Truth’s clothesline, Riley takes it full force. Austin bitches at R-Truth for some reason.

– Commercial

Headlock on Riley with Miz in control. Austin down on the mat checking with Riley. Riley up with blows to Miz’s gut, but then Miz slams him back in the heel corner. Back elbow to R-Truth, but Miz on Riley with kicks, then a DDT and Miz gets a long two. Miz is not happy. Riley belly crawls, but Miz stops him before he reaches Cena.

Miz stomps Riley in a corner with Austin right on top, then pulls Miz back. They get into a screaming match. There was even something from Miz that was bleeped! Miz runs back at Riley, but only gets post with his shoulder. Both struggling to get the tag, but Miz gets there first and R-Truth stomps Riley to stop him. R-Truth taunts Cena, then tells on him. Snap mare on Riley, then a chinlock through women and children chanting for Cena. R-Truth starts to bite Riley’s head and Austin makes him stop. Blows on Riley in a corner, Austin right on top of him. R-Truth slams Riley to the mat through, “Let’s go Alex” chants! R-Truth on the second ropes, but Riley gets his feet up. Both down, but both manage to tag out!

Cena ducks Miz’s clotheslines, but hits his shoulder blocks. Cena’s suplex, then the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Miz. Miz up for the AA, but R-Truth in and kicks Cena in the gut. R-Truth rushes Cena but gets elevated over the top and out. Miz tries to flee, but Cena has his ankle. Cena locks on the STF. Miz only has to belly crawl a little to reach a bottom rope. Austin counts and Cena makes the break.

R-Truth in with a chair. R-Truth swings, Cena ducks. Cena then hits R-Truth with a drop kick to the abdomen below where the chair is held to avoid there being a chair shot to the head. Cena and Miz to their feet and rush each other. Double clothesline and both are down. Riley slides in, his silver case in hand. Riley stands behinds Cena, case in hand as if he wants to hit Cena with it. Riley turns his head and smirks at Miz, then glances back at Cena, but then turns and goes after Miz. Miz gets his hands up and it’s one of the worst ‘head shots’ I’ve seen in a very long time! Austin climbs back in the ring and stuns Miz. Cena grabs Miz for an AA while Cole has a fit over Austin being the ref and how unfair that is. Cena pins Miz for three.

Winner – Riley & Cena

Austin raises Riley and Cena’s arms. The beers fly into the ring. Austin throws a beer to Riley, one to Cena, then another to Riley. Riley drinks on the ramp as Cena and Austin toast in the ring. Austin drinks, but Cena’s off screen. Cena poses on a corner, then takes a little sip while up top.

Ding-Ding! Cole with a very pissed look directed at Austin, says he’s received an email from the RAW GM. And I quote, “The ref is blatantly overstepped his authority by physically interfering in this match. Therefore Cena and Riley have been disqualified. The winners of the match are Miz and R-Truth.”

Miz and R-Truth, up on the ramp, each being held up by a ref, celebrate their win feebly. Heat from the fans. Austin and Cena in the ring look bummed out.

Ding-Ding! This time Austin heads for the podium, but Cole stops him. And I quote, “Mr. Austin, before you do something drastic that you might later regret. Next week on the three hour All*Star Night, I’m appointing you the Special Guest GM.”

Austin stomps over to the podium and pulls a mic out of it. He says now that Cole has all of the official BS out of the way – Austin pulls the laptop off and drops it to the floor. He pushes the podium over and grabs Cole by his collar. Austin yells, “If you want Stone Cold to be the GM next week, gimme a hell yeah!” ‘Hell yeah.’ “I said gimme a hell yeah!” ‘Hell yeah!’ One punch to Cole, then Austin rolls Cole into the ring. Austin calls for more beer, then douses Cole. A kick to the gut, then a stunner from Austin. Then Cena grabs his close friend and nails the wormy announcer with an AA. Austin and Cena, each with two beers salute, then down their beers. The camera finally catches Cena at the tail end of his drink. Austin leaves the ring, grabs a mic and a beer, then rolls back into the ring, all the way over to Cole’s soggy carcass. Right in Cole’s face, slapping his cheek, Austin says, “If you’re ready for RAW next week, gimme a hell yeah!” ‘Hell yeah!’ “Michael Cole you little mealy mouth bastard, I’ll see you firsthand next week on Monday night RAW, and that’s the bottom line because Stone Cold said so!”

Cole is left crying on the mat as Austin gets a bunch of beers and keeps shooting them to the ramp at Cena. Cena ends up with at least four beers in his hands and he’s laughing so hard he can hardly not drop them. Austin from the ring, grabs the cooler, facing King, swings the cooler between his legs then up over his head so it will, hopefully, land in the ring. Didn’t see it land, so no clue if Cole is hit.

Biggest pop
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Booker T
Alex Riley
Luke

Biggest heat
Cole
Miz
R-Truth
Alberto Del Rio
Luke

Most mixed
Cena