While You Were Offline: Hey Please Don’t Call Trump's New Hotline to Report UFOs
It's rare that the world experiences such a perfect storm of schadenfreude as the one offered up by #FyreFestival, the on-the-ground reports from an "exclusive" musical fest in the Bahamas gone terribly wrong. Even if the rest of the week had proved to a battle to maintain composure in an ambivalent and occasionally cruel world, at least this could bring everyone together. And seriously, a lot had happened over the last seven days. Like what, you ask? Well, read on, friends: The wonders of a week's worth of world wide web await.
Happy 100 Days, Mr. President
What Happened: The internet took it upon itself to reflect on the not-so-humble beginnings of Donald Trump's presidency.
Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports
What Really Happened: Believe it or not, President Trump has been in office for 100 days. It might not feel like that many weeks have passed, and yet here's a press release from the White House talking about how great these past 100 days have been. A press release celebrating Donald J. Trump's first 100 days? How'd that go over?
Pretty soon after the release went out, the Democratic Party sent out a version of the statement with a few "corrections."
Meanwhile, it seemed like everyone had something to say about the last 100 days. BuzzFeed published a list of 100 administration lies for 100 days, while NBC took a look at the figures and CNN evaluated the whole shebang and then summarized it with his tweets. (Hey, that's my gig.) While the Washington Post wasn't impressed by what's happened since Trump took office, Fox News found a lot to like—and Sean Hannity, in particular, thinks that it's been "pretty close" to perfect.
Certainly, there's been a learning curve for everyone in the last 100 days, something that Trump himself admitted in an interview with Reuters, where he astoundingly admitted that he thought being president "would be easier" than being a businessman. As people still struggle to come to terms with his presidency, it's worth wondering: How do social media denizens feel? The answer, as always, is complicated. Certainly, there are those who are happy…
…And then there are those who aren't.
But, really, it's not over until The Simpsons has had its say. (Oddly, this won't be the only time they show up this week.)
The Takeaway: Look, 100 days is a long time. Is there some summary of what people might have missed out there?
That'll do.
When "Tax Breaks" Is a Verb, Not a Noun
What Happened: The administration rolled out what it was calling its tax reform agenda, which went about as well as should be expected.
Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports
What Really Happened: After a surprise announcement last week, the Trump administration followed through on its promise to release its tax plan. Kind of.
This is almost a plan, right?
OK, maybe not. But it was still enough to generate all kinds of headlines about what it means.
On social media, some were concerned about the lack of details in the plan.
Others, meanwhile, just weren't convinced by the whole thing at all.
But at least the administration was doing its best to explain and sell this new plan to the public, right?
Well, this is going well.
The Takeaway: After this week, everyone deserves a tax break.
The Truth Is Out There
What Happened: Sometimes the appropriate response to bigoted fear is to ridicule it. Ridiculously.
Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports
What Really Happened: Wednesday was Alien Day—see, it's 4/26 because of LV-426 in the original Ridley Scott Alien movie—which, of course, made it the ideal day for the government to unveil its new immigration initiative:
According to the Victims of Immigration Crime Engagement (VOICE, get it?) website, the newly established organization was created "to acknowledge and serve the needs of crime victims and their families who have been impacted by crimes committed by removable criminal aliens." Thankfully, Twitter knew how to help everything run smoothly.
Impressively, that's exactly what happened: people spammed the line with stories about space aliens. Which led to an amazing statement from ICE, describing the calls as a cheap publicity stunt "beyond the pale of legitimate public discourse" that is both "absurd" and "shameful."
The Takeaway: Perhaps everyone should just be impressed that the trolls had the patience that they did:
Manfiction
What Happened: Who knew that writers had such insight into complete strangers and animal magnetism? Why, egotistical writers, of course.
Where It Blew Up: Twitter
What Really Happened: You know what? There's not even a need to give this one any more context than it gets in this very first tweet:
Of course, Twitter was as impressed with this clearly true story as you were:
As should be expected, it was decided that this kind of self-fanfic couldn't stand unchallenged, leading to someone deciding to fix the story… or, at least, tell the other side. #Thread, as the kids say:
The Takeaway: Turns out, there's a term for this kind of thing.
Life Imitates Fox
What Happened: Occasionally, it can seem as if the internet is a source for terrible things that make the world seem worse by their very existence. And then, something like this happens.
Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports
What Really Happened: A month ago, Cypress Hill—remember them?—posted this to Twitter:
Which is, of course, a reference to this bit from a 1996 episode of The Simpsons that they guest-starred in.
But this week, things got interesting when, weeks after that original tweet, the London Symphony Orchestra noticed that it had been name dropped.
Things only got weirder from there.
Is this real life? Apparently so.
And that, dear friends, is how the magic happens, apparently. Who knew?
The Takeaway: Just when it seems like logging off of the internet is the only way to stay sane, Cypress Hill starts chatting on Twitter with the London Symphony Orchestra and suddenly it feels like it's impossible to ever leave.